Saturday, December 28, 2013

Slow down! Stop! Review! Don't multitask!

     Could these be my New Year's resolutions or simple admonitions? Three recent occurrences have led me to these conclusions.  First of all I lost a chance for a good job because I hadn't reviewed a cover letter closely.  It included a sentence I'd put in for a different job leading to the interviewer's first question- "I'm confused.  Why did you say you'd relocate to Atlanta when the job is in New Jersey?"
      Next a short story of mine was published with the character's name as Dave in one sentence, followed  by Doug in the next line.  Embarrassing to say the least.  It almost happened in another story that's due to be published but fortunately my sister caught the mistake.  Impatience is winning out and wreaking havoc. 
     It's the end of the year and I'm pondering a couple of other decisions.  I had a short story that with a couple of tweaks could have been published in a well-known literary magazine.  I didn't make the changes.  Now I wonder, was I mad or just lazy?  The same thing happened with an essay.  They both were published but in lesser known journals.
    As I face other questions with big repercussions my advice to myself and everyone else is in the title.  With that in mind it'll be a new year with good decisions and better editing! 

Here's a story that was out awhile ago.

Dr. Lee



It wasn´t my favorite class, a survey of Chinese history with its endless dynasties of too similar names.  We´d finally moved into modern times and were now stuck in the early 20th century.  Dr. Lee was Korean, a delicate man with wire rimmed glasses.  He taught all the Asian history courses, no doubt because of his ethnicity.

                I counted up credits and found I could graduate faster in history than anything else so I was filling semesters with requirements.  There were two tracks: one was for potential Social Studies teachers and the other, was  filled with boys and seminars on war.  I don´t even know how I found myself in it, probably my advisor thought it would keep my options open though, for what, I had no idea.

                There were only two bright spots in the whole business.  The history of Brazil was filled with Brazilians students aiming for an easy A and they talked, making it come alive.  I read Jorge Amado, and imagined Bahia, with coconut custard and tropical drinks, far from the chill of the Northeast and the winter that had just begun and would never end.  The other was a fatherly professor of American history who claimed the Singer sewing machine was the most perfect creation ever made. He lamented those transformed into decorator tables.  I could relate since my aunt sewed all her clothing on one with its metal foot pedal that kept up a smooth rhythm. 

                The rest of the professors did what I´d been told never to do, which was to read from a paper.  It was how they generally filled the fifty or eighty minute blocks.  Dr. Lee was one of them.  I got to the room right on time and settled in.  It was November and I had the routine down, sitting towards the back, but not too far.  I had a glimpse of the outdoors from the window at the top of the basement room.  A fat guy came and sat near me, smiling. Once he followed me out of class telling me the desperately sad story of his mother going blind from her job as an x-ray technician.  I managed to avoid him without being rude. 

                In the beginning there were about thirty of us, now down to ten.  Some of the students no longer bothered with notes.  They sat staring into space or an occasional beep of something electronic alerted us to their presence. I felt a little sorry for Dr. Lee, tiny in front of the room, facing us all.

                He arrived right on time with his regulation black briefcase.  He popped it open and sifted through sheaves of papers.  What would it be today?  It looked like he was making a decision.  I hoped for the spice of the opium wars.  He stood at the podium, reminding us of a test.  Then he began to read from his notes.  ¨1900, it was a reactionary movement.  Meant to eliminate the expanding control of the foreigners. The Boxer Rebellion.¨

                 I shifted position, the chair digging into my back.  My foot knocked over a half filled cup of machine coffee I hadn´t spotted on the floor.  I lost the thread of Dr. Lee as I watched the coffee spread and finally stop in a brown puddle several feet from my desk. 

                ¨In 1900…¨ Dr. Lee paused.  He started again.  ¨In 1900.¨ He stopped. 

                I snapped to alertness.  Had we offended Dr. Lee?  I once was in a class where the professor threw a girl out for no apparent reason and since then had never felt completely at ease.

                Silence grew and expanded.  

                ¨I can´t.¨ He sat down.

                More silence. Students shot each other looks.  After what seemed like ages, one of the students in the front row tried to encourage either him or us, ¨We need to know what happens.  In 1900.¨

                Dr. Lee was beyond explanations, knowing perfectly well 1900 was irrelevant to us.  Silence made it hard to breathe.  He shook his head, all eyes on him.  ¨I don´t know what´s happened.¨ He sounded as surprised as all of us.

                Another voice, ¨Go on, please.¨

                ¨It´s not just this.¨ He dismissed the centuries of China.  ¨It´s everything.¨

                My palms started to sweat.  We were sophomores, not prepared for this display of humanity.

                ¨You need to take a break.¨ Suddenly suggestions came from all parts of the room.

                ¨You´ll feel better tomorrow; get some rest.¨

                ¨Go out with your friends, have a beer.¨

                ¨Are you married?¨ Dr. Lee shook his head.  ¨You need to meet someone.¨

                I put in my two cents worth.  ¨Take a vacation.  That´ll help.¨

                Silence again.  Then he picked up his briefcase, nodded at us all, and left the room.

                There was a buzz in the room.  Then we got up and left without a word.

                Tuesday Dr. Lee was no longer there.  A graduate student took his place. He didn´t come back in the spring semester either.  Rumors were he´d gone to Korea.  I needed to believe he´d gone home or that he was vacationing somewhere far away.  If not, we had failed him. 

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Snow Memories

    When I lived abroad I had a predilection for snow movies- the made for TV movies where a couple is stranded in mountain snow, the climbing Everest movies, and of course, the long snowy trek in "The Day after Tomorrow". 
     Fast forward.  I'm back in snow after 20 years.  The first winter when I looked out the window to snow piled up outside, I wondered, "What do I do now?"  It took a couple of winters to get the right footwear and the right clothes.
      And the verdict?  My sister (in Atlanta) joked and said a rescue mission to get me might be in order and I'm almost at the point of agreeing.  But I can't give up (at least, not yet).  Should I try snowshoes?  Or just stay in, watch Netflix, read Scandinavian crime novels, and drink red wine?  I can emerge pasty white and shivering in April.
   Part 2 of my bus series.




The light is dying

This city is dying

One burnt building

a day.

A leaf


At the bus stop

a man asks

are you the baby girl


I say yes, I am.