Saturday, June 17, 2017

This was a fun story about cars I've been meaning to post.

The Car is Ready to Blow

Calvin was always complaining about progress and how the US was falling behind. Now he was back on the same jag.  ¨It´s true, Doug.  Look at China.  Cars show how far a society has come.  Progress. Now they´ve got more than us.  That´s an indicator; everything is Chinese; it´s because they´ve got cars now.¨
¨Come on Calvin, what are you nuts?  What´s this poison soup we´re breathing? Carbon m-o-n.-o-x-i-d-e.  Take a deep breath of that shit.  Fill up those lungs.¨
The two men were standing on the overpass of Route 20 A next to the mall waiting for the AAA to pick up Calvin´s car.  Smoke was billowing out from under the hood and the engine looked like it was ready to blow.  Even with his car practically on fire, Calvin wouldn´t stop defending cars. 
¨The Chinese are now ahead of us in pollution too.  They got big black clouds there.  You can´t see the light of day in some of those cities.  That´s progress?¨  Doug continued.
¨Think of it; the smell of a new car. Picture it a Jag or, let´s say a Porsche.  Soft leather, heated seats in the winter when you get into that baby.  Cream color interior, GPS, a sound system better than you got at home.¨
¨Get out of here, it´s not sex we´re talking about.  Dude, dream on. Where do you see a Jaguar?  What do you call that smoking up a storm?¨  Doug pointed to the 20 year old Chevy ten feet away.   ¨You think it could explode?¨  He stepped farther away.
¨Nah, only on TV.  It takes a lot to get one to blow.  You got to cover it in gasoline.  My car is fine.¨
¨What´d you do, forget to put oil in there?  You with your cars.¨
Calvin ignored Doug and continued his reverie.  ¨Power’s what you want under you.  You can take on the world.¨
¨How long did they say?¨ Doug was getting impatient.  ¨They´re usually pretty good.¨
¨An hour about.¨
¨That Chevy has seen better days.  Maybe you should get that dream car.¨
¨The Chevy was Dad´s.  Still got some life in it.¨
¨Yeah, if you keep pumping your paycheck into it.¨
¨At least I´m not on some corner waiting for a goddam bus.¨
¨Well, at least, I´m not poisoning anybody.¨
¨You kidding. With those buses.¨
¨They´re ecological now.  They burn natural gas.¨
¨Next you´ll tell me they burn chicken shit.  You luddites are going to set us back a few centuries.  Then you´ll be happy.  You won´t have any cars, no lights, no TV, now that´s ecological.  Get your garden going.  Make your own clothes.  What kind of future is that?¨
Doug laughed, ¨I´ll keep my way.  You stay in that pile of shit.  I´m going to walk to the mall.  I got to get my daughter´s birthday present.¨
¨See how you get home.¨
¨Hey, I´ll take a bus.¨
¨Remember that´s why we´re in this mess.  There is no bus.¨